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Is Scheduling Sex... Sexy?

August 13, 2019
Written by Maria Sophia

Scheduling sex isn't something pubescent versions of ourselves pictured as adults. Work, kids, and life happens which make spontaneous sex a little more difficult to achieve. Don't think that you've reached your sexual plateau and it's downhill from here. “Wait...you actually want us to schedule sex?” Yes, literally put it on your calendar the time, date, and place. This highlights the importance of creating a necessary intimate connection with your partner. We want you to get your sex life back on track so we've created a "how to" for scheduling sex all while keeping it interesting and fun.

 

Get ready to mark your calendars because here are our 5 suggestions for scheduling sex:

 

#1 Plan a time and a place that works

The busier your lives are the harder it is to find an appropriate time to be intimate. One partner might not be in the mood, the other might be tired, and the excuses just keep going. Whether it be when the kids go to bed, before leaving for work, or coinciding with your Friday date night. Prepare for the activity later by making certain to write your sex appointment in your planner. Your sex life will increasingly improve. Busy schedules don’t need to interfere with your sex life anymore, it’s all about effort here!

 

 

#2 Do your best to stick with the schedule

“Oh look, it’s sex o’clock!” Get a good night's rest the night before so the exhaustion doesn't get in the way of your planning. You're making time for each others mutual wants/needs and that is one of the best factors in any great relationship. When you and your partner compromise a time and place, make an agreement that you will both be there and ready to go when the clock strikes whenever. Try to approve a bare weekly minimum(or monthly minimum based on your scheduling). Go ahead and reschedule if you really aren't in the mood. Just do your best to be there, ready to enjoy each others company.

 

 

#3 Anticipation, anticipation, anticipation! (Say that 3 times fast)

Now, it’s on your calendar. Prioritize and prepare for it (shave certain areas if you prefer). Remind yourself the connection you feel during and after sex. Planning ahead is also beneficial when contemplating trying out new sexual positions, toys, lubes, items to set the mood, etc. Although it’s not spontaneous sex, it can and will be just as good. Send some sexy texts throughout the day leading up to it. This will REALLY keep your partner on their toes.

 

 

#4 Set the mood

Plan non-sexual time too. You may not be instantly aroused once you're together. This will help reduce the pressure of the experience. Create an special experience by turning up the heat. Throw on something sexy, light some scented candles, dim the lights, whatever you need to do to spice things up. Sex is more than a physical activity, it’s often an emotional one too. Keeping your head in the right place can help maintain the focus on the activity at hand. Find out what settings you want in the room and use all 5 of your senses!

 

 

#5 Pace Yourself

Be in the moment and enjoy this experience together. No matter what's going on around you, these scheduled times are for the both of you. Rushing to the finish line is no fun (especially for women). Stop and savor the feelings and emotions afterward by laying together and talking. By letting your partner know that you can make time for their needs will add to astonishing sex in your life.

 

 

Hopefully your experience was better than expected and you're looking forward to your next sex date. The planned part might take some getting used to, but don't make it out to be a chore. When all is said and done, planned sex is better than none at all!

 

 

 

Sources:
Engle, Gigi. "I'm a Sex Coach, and I Swear By Scheduling Sex in Relationships." Self, 18 May 2019, www.self.com/story/scheduling-sex.

 

Koenig, Ronnie. “I Tried Scheduling Sex For A Month—Here's What Happened.” Prevention, 10 May 2017, www.prevention.com/sex/g20455377/scheduling-sex.

 

Levi, Anthea. "The Case for Scheduling Sex, According to a Relationship Expert." Health, 16 Feb. 2018, www.health.com/sex/benefits-of-scheduling-sex.

 

Moore, Tracy. "Scheduling Sex Could Save Your RelationshipBut There's A Right And Wrong Way To Do It." Mel Magazine, 2018, www.melmagazine.com/en-us/story/scheduling-sex-could-save-your-relationship-but-theres-a-right-and-wrong-way-to-do-it.

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Maria Sophia is a newer member to the Lovers Playground team and has an extensive background in writing and communications. Maria is a Chicago native with a passion for travel and exercise, among other hobbies. She has 2 dogs, no tattoos, and no-known food allergies. She uses writing to freely express and encourage  healthier, more fulfilling sex lives in adults.

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