Reviews & Advice > Newsflash! G-Spots are Real
Newsflash! G-Spots are real
February 27, 2015
There is something that needs to be properly addressed in the year 2015. I jumped into this New Year having to argue with someone telling me that female ejaculate is nothing more than urine. There seems to be some “scientifically” backed article circulating, virally spreading misconceptions about the female orgasms well into the 21st century now. (In other infuriating global news…just heard that gossip across the pond…The UK no longer tolerates filming of many sexual activities, quite shockingly female ejaculation made this list!)
After trying to argue with someone who was just simply reading the findings of a ‘scientific study,’ I realized that I could not possibly be alone in my stance. Sex educators, orgasm-ing females and even some male partners are screaming right now, because we can all tell you that the g-spot, squirting orgasms and female ejaculate are all real, and female release is NOT urine!
To deny the fact that these secretions that are being released, and to claim that these women are “just urinating” is so far one of the most damaging statements of the 21st century. It is like denying the fact that women even have orgasms.
It is beyond insulting to claim that the sensations and physical releases these “squirting” females are experiencing, to be simply brushed off as sudden urinary incontinence. There is whole lot more going on than that down there.
Female orgasms and sexual pleasure are two topics that have been significantly under-studied and continue
to be misunderstood by mainstream science.
Debunking a “myth” by proving it with another “myth” is not only poor scientific method, but a huge disservice against womankind. There is no way such limited evidence could speak for all women and of their bodies’ sexual capabilities as simply one thing, and not another. It very well could have shared a couple of things at once in some instances, but where is the big headline arguing that?
Dare I say how very sexist it seems to be that mainstream science continues to deny that the g-spot exists! Is it easier to claim it’s not there, when you have trouble finding it? Or perhaps the world shamefully lacks the knowledge or experience to discover the secret nuances that entice each one?
Here’s what is wrong with that “scientific study” that they’re blasting around as all-encompassing truth:
Only 7 female test subjects were used. Seven! Were they serious? Did they not receive funding? Because I’ pretty sure You, dear reader, YOU could round up a more successful female ejaculate study ON YOUR OWN and see for yourself what female ejaculate is made of!
Sure, maybe just maybe, the Internet didn’t completely lie about those unfortunate seven ladies who truly are all the most unsuccessful true “squirter's.” But with only seven test subjects who successfully or unsuccessfully released urine as their primary secretion, that still does NOT accurately represent the entire female population of the world. Don’t let these over-hyped “findings” define your female ejaculate and represent you in the name of science. I welcome you to be your own judge and advocate.
In the name of “science” I appoint you Captain in conducting your own research assignment. It will be a whole lot of fun exploring uncharted territory, or finding new paths to an old discovery, either in you or your partner…or both!
A Journey to the Center of Your World
To set the record straight…
Here’s a little about g-spot and the female ejaculate connection:
The g-spot does exist, but…unless you devote at least a good 20 minutes of foreplay preparation then the g-spot will not be engorged with enough blood from arousal.
If a woman is not properly aroused, then do not expect to get her to come properly via g-spot.
Most women are much more familiar with clitoral(outside) stimulation, the gateway to proper self-lubrication that is necessary for juicy, welcoming penetration. What people don’t realize is that the nerve endings of the clitoris extend out through the labia, and they also tuck away inside the body through to the g-spot. Because everything is so sensitive and located so close together to other organs and functions of the body, it can become confusing for a woman who might be feeling so many different things at once.
This can mean many things. It can mean any slight push harder on her clit can really hurt, or that slight lean forward creates the urge to urinate, or a tickle, or pleasure, or cause her to tense up. Or everything at once. Now imagine going at it like that from inside. Yikes! That’s a lot of expectations. And pressure! By pressure I mean both mental and physical pressure to perform. This is supposed to be FUN so listen to yourself or your partner when they react in a good or bad way.
Fooling Around with Possibilities and Tools
Massage in circular pattern
Hooking fingers up and “come hither” motion with fingers
To the left
To the right
Constant pressure without releasing
Cyberskin dildo(flexible ‘bounce’)
Dong with a pronounced head
-just to name a few options-
…And to top all that: a whole designated genre of G-spot vibes specifically made to help you achieve your pleasure.
Gee, What’s in it For Me?
Everyone is different, so don’t let other people’s routine define what you think you should feel as acceptable. My only intention here is to bring people’s attention to this tricky area of female anatomy. The g-spot and its nuances of female release never seem to be discussed fairly. Hopefully by addressing this topic and covering it in such all-inclusive detail, it will encourage women and their partners to understand their own bodies better.
G-spots are tricky in that they’re not always perfectly aligned with the bellybutton-trail.
They are on the “roof” of the vaginal canal, imagine hooking your fingers up inside towards your lower abs, and then with your free hand pressing in on from the outside.
Your canal isn’t always perfectly aligned either, so not everyone’s g-spot is perfectly positioned along your body’s line.
You might find an angle to the left or an angle to the right reaches it just right.
Tilting your toy up (such as a rabbit or butterfly kiss) while you’re lying on your back at about a 45 degree angle should make you more responsive as well.
Best sex positions for reaching it are:
In these positions many people find that they have success with shallow thrusts or by rocking back in forth over a particularly responsive spot.
(missionary position usually does not fair as favorably because of the angle, but works for a start-up)
G-spot stimulation or certain positions will seem only do-able during a long bedroom session, not necessarily during a quickie. Some attempts at positions or fingering might be uncomfortable at the start of penetration, but later become pleasurable further into intercourse.
There are so many different ways that people find to work best for them.
Some people only respond to deliberate manual stimulation.
Some people reach their g-spot during anal sex.
Some people need to work their clit and g-spot at the same time.
Some people release ejaculate upon orgasm.
Some people release before or after orgasm.
Some people can project their female ejaculate. (These are those famous “squirter's” we all hear about.)
Some people also just don’t respond to g-spot stimulation, and are totally happy and fine without it.
Some people have been enjoying g-spot pleasure already, and don’t even know that they were.
Some people don’t realize that women can be completely sexually satisfied without any penetration at all.
Ugh, the believers of male-centric “Complete” Orgasm theory.
These people need to go stop reading outdated, sexually-oppressed fantasies of Victorian imagination, and stop believing Freud’s flawed theories on female sexuality.
It’s a clit- Get used to it!
Newsflash: Freud just talked the talk, but had no idea what the walk even walked.
He is not a ‘sexpert’ of any kind by modern standards!
We really need to stop mentioning his name and his twisted theories on sexuality, because we as society have moved on, way, way on since him.
Yes. Got over Freud. And all of that.
Like over a hundred years ago, people!
We actually get off by –having- sex nowadays, not by talking about sex in medical terms just to cover all the “hysteria.”
Hmm…perhaps we found a cure indeed! (Not.)
That cure comment was total sarcasm, but how about next:
Time to go speculate, on female ejaculate…
Some people have a lot of it. Some people have a little. Some people don’t notice or feel any fluid (and most likely also release it in the bathroom when they urinate after sex.)
For those people who aren’t lucky enough to squirt easily, you might have had those g-spot moments where you knew you were creating a building pressure, but just couldn’t allow yourself to “push” the fluid out through your urethra…I’m sure a big part of you having to hold it in was the fact that you could not or would not allow your bladder muscles to give in. No matter how hard you tried or wanted to, the fearful idea of possibly accidentally leaking urine is what kept you from releasing anything at all.
This little scenario is a big reason why I believe that the female ejaculate is NOT urine (because we KNOW how urinating feels, and why we control ourselves to keep that urgent feeling in) but is also possibly the main reason why we all are so confused by it.
While some people seem to possess psychic urethral power, I’ve heard so many instances of women realizing they leaked ejaculate involuntarily during a rigorous romp. Damp sheets were the most notable evidence. Other times they felt a liquid push from their urethra all on its own, an experience that seemed to act on its own regardless whether their bladder was empty or full.
Now in these instances I’m quite sure nobody had a scientist at hand to collect data, but real sexual science and chemistry was happening there all on its own.
Then, there are some of you, who truly put forth all the effort necessary only to learn and discover that g-spot stimulation is just not for you. And that’s totally okay too.
Yes! Not everyone is gung-ho about penetration, while others are definitely down with it, just dislike focusing on the g-spot by poking at it so deliberately.
Some people are very engaged with setting off their g-spot, while others are happy with g-spot orgasms just happening from time-to time.
Some people just can’t handle the release. Too intense on some days, or their arm just gets tired(ha.) Point is, women won’t know anything for sure unless they take the time to explore their likes and capabilities themselves.
Don’t ever feel discouraged or inadequate if all the over-hyped expectations aren’t met. We are all hardwired differently, and it’s okay to be one way or the other.
What’s important is to make sure we do not make anyone we’re with feel bad about their squirting abilities, or lack thereof.
There is nothing to stress over during the act of sex, that a little extra towel or bathtub couldn’t accommodate for all sorts of wild kinks. Female ejaculate is actually pretty tame in all respects if you consider getting over the debate and details.
Women already often have a difficult of enough time letting themselves orgasm, not to mention in front of others. There are enough (unnecessary) sexual anxieties we all carry around with us, and adding to that fear now is the unfair assumption that our orgasms might cause us to urinate. Let’s drop all this fuss over what it is or what it isn’t, and quit feeding unnecessary embarrassment to one of the most beautiful moments of climaxing, possibly the most intense sexperience we humans get to share with one another.
No shame while you’re game!
Okay ladies, now here’s what you have to do on your part!
The best love is self-love and oftentimes we rely on our partners to just “know” what to do, when really we ourselves don’t even know what we like. How many feelings have been hurt because your partner just did “what worked before on others?” Or have you hesitated to speak up because your partner is trying so hard and putting forth so much effort and you don’t want to break it to them how much that hurts, or that they’re just totally missing the spot?
Guess what, until you take responsibility for your own pleasure, you can’t expect someone else to do it for you!
Do your homework!
Now, while physically it is much easier for someone else to angle and reach the g-spot for you, there are so many toys that make things so much easier for both of you or while you’re all alone.
“I don’t NEED a toy,” is what some people like to say.
Sure, of course you don’t NEED it. You will be the same person you are without one.
But you will also be the same person if you had one.
Just now you own more pleasure.
Have you ever thought about the fact that if you had a toy, you would not depend and NEED somebody else to provide you with your personal satisfaction?
You would have sex with someone anyway, even if your own needs were being met on your own. Probably because you really want to have sex, not because you were sexually frustrated or desperate…and of course let’s also not forget that this person is super sexy and awesome to you, right? Sure doesn’t sound like anybody’s “settling” for anything, or anyone.
Some people feel intimidated by women who own sex toys, or worry that a toy might replace them in the bedroom. What they don’t realize is that anybody who owns their own sex toys chooses you as their sexual partner because they really want to have sex with you, not because they need you for their release.
If you could make sexual pleasure and orgasms happen more easily with less work or leave parts of you to be free doing other things during sex, wouldn’t you want that extra something?
I always say that toys can only give you MORE, they never take away.
So…About those G-spot Vibes…
There are many g-spot vibes that are completely rigid but hooked at the end. These are a little tricky for some beginners to figure out, but for the women that do opt for these stiff designs know this is what they personally are looking for. From experience, maybe after from some trial and error, some women decide they need a toy that is this direct in pinpointing the right spot.
Other g-spot vibes feature a larger egg-shaped tip from a slender shaft. Just like some women respond to a hooked tip, some women prefer something that covers more area around the spot.
Other g-spot vibes feature a more tapered, or shapely slope that might fit more comfortably for certain people, but not others.
There is a high variety of differences in g-spot vibes, they can all be considered great toys, whether they are economical in price, boast well-made materials, or deliver great power. However, it is because of all their very specific, unique differences that I try to keep them categorized as a personal choice/decision. Until you know your own body and try on a few ‘easy-toy’ dimensions, I wouldn’t recommend something that looks challenging or inflexible for your first try(such as glass or hard plastic.)
If you’ve tried a toy already but come visit a store location to find something different, that’s when you can describe what you were looking for to the associate, and then they can try to help narrow a few choices down for you.
Strength or size? Flexible or stiff? Curved or hooked? Less vibration, or more? Twirl or massage enough? We test toys out for people everyday. That’s our job. Let us help you!
A Few Admirable Toy Mentions
While it’s hard for me to recommend any toy as a “one size fits all” or just throw at you any ol’ best-seller, there are a few toys you should be aware of, especially if you are unfamiliar with novelties at all.
One of my favorite toys to introduce is the Butterfly Kiss. It features a fluttery vibrating jelly butterfly made to dance over your lovely lady bits and stimulate the clit. It then also extends a short slim shaft into a bulbous tip that for a g-spot toy is very easy to insert. It looks a little strange at first glance, but remember, the stranger a sex toy looks, the more pleasure it probably delivers. That short length should give you a fair idea of just how little deep the g-spot is usually located. The Butterfly Kiss is flexible, it has a bit of “give” or “bounce” unlike the classic cylindrical vibrator. When you thrust it or twirl it around it will be firm enough to control but still glide along your contours with ease. It comes in two different versions, the original has three speeds, while the “platinum” edition boasts up to nine different pulsations. For something that costs near twenty dollars or under, this toy gives a whole lot for a great value. It gives you great vibrations, and a very modest taste of both inside and outside stimulation.
Once you try out this “training wheel” of vibrators, you’ll most certainly become better acquainted with your own anatomy and what sorts of toy features and functions you might be looking for. Whether by itself this toy successfully makes you squirt, orgasm, or just tease your senses, the Butterfly Kiss’ versatility makes it such an easy addition to foreplay. It can also used on your clit during sex, or by your partner who just climaxed and wants to use it on you while you both kick back and relax. This cute little gem has served as the gateway inside/outside vibe for women of all ages and stages in life.
Silly Rabbit Tricks
After some experience with the butterflies, you might be curious about what a rabbit is. A ‘rabbit’ or rather, ‘The Rabbit,’ is the infamous toy that does many things for you all at one time. Some women respond most favorably to a massaging g-spot motion instead of vibration, making the rabbit just the right toy for them. The rabbit becomes complete with vibrating bunny ears to flutter and tease for outer stimulation, along with a rolling, beaded-shaft massage that leads up to the twirling head.
There are some vibes that are also considered ‘rabbits’ because they mimic the popular bunny ear feature for the outside. Besides lacking any massaging beads or a twirling massaging head, these “bunnies” usually only offer a sleek, unmoving shaft to go inside.
While there are many different lengths and sizes to choose from, the original, twirling-bead massaging original rabbit design is something every woman deserves to experience at some point in her life. You can lie on your back, relax, and slide it in for a bead massage. To really get the most sensation from your rabbit, you might try tilting the toy up at about a 45 degree angle until you find the spot that works best for you… and then let it do all the hard work for you.
One G-spot toy that deserves an honorable mention is the Sensuelle Pearl. This rechargeable g-demon is one of the new releases from last year that need to be brought to public attention.
This unassuming vibrator really doesn’t stand out in its packaging. It looks just like a plain vibrator with a slightly tilted bulb at the tip.
The unique pearl that is hidden inside the tip is what makes this toy stand out from regular vibrators. While it does have several functions of speed, it is what this little secret pearl does that separates it from the rest of the selection.
Imagine a motorized pearl inside the tip that taps out to create a pulsing movement.
You can run this pearl to flick over your clit without getting your fingers tired…now imagine this same pearl flicking out rhythmically over your g-spot.
You can switch up the functions to tease your senses anyway you choose, and experience a whole new type of toy action.
The Sensuelle Pearl is slim enough all-around, including a very gentle curve sloping at the tip for insertion.
This slim design makes it appealing to a more broad range of users, unlike some bulky bulbs or over-stylized and shapely g-spot toys. This is one toy that you actually really need to plug in and see the vibration and pulsing pearl action for yourself. There is a whole line of toys that came out from this same brand, but this is one design model that brings something different to the table-or bed should I say!
It is fairly priced for a rechargeable, and considering the unique technology it boasts, it’s definitely worth knowing about. It’s not every day that someone reinvents a pleasure option like this!
A Bone to Pick with Your Vibe
A few things to consider when picking a vibe. When in doubt between two vibrators, choose the smaller model between two options, because you can always upgrade from your warm-up toy, but you can’t return a toy that just won’t fit.
Always, always use lube with toys, no matter how ‘fine’ you usually are without it, remember a toy is not your moist skin and can get chafe-y just like a drying condom.
Sometimes a toy doesn’t seem so big until you realize that it’s not a flesh-and-bone penis that can adapt to your body.
Some women like to try to match their toy size close to their partner’s member, only to discover that the shape or the material doesn’t feel right.
In other instances, there are men who are trying to size-match themselves while buying a toy for someone else, and end up over-estimating or under-estimating the appropriate dimensions for their partner.
If you ever find yourself with a toy that you’re surprised to have trouble playing with…Don’t necessarily write it off for good!
Some toys you’ll find are actually good for certain days, and they will wait for you patiently until you’re actually feeling for it.
If you decide that your toy is simply not something you want to use inside, you might find that its texture, ridges or vibrations prove themselves useful just for massaging and stimulating outside the body. There are several generously proportioned vibrating dongs that are actually designed to cover more area and are intentionally dotted with patterns less meant for insertion, and more for clitoral pleasure.
Even twirling rabbit heads can be used to tease and massage strictly outside the body.
I keep stressing how important it is to get very warmed up during foreplay, but I know that nobody has the diligent patience for the same routine to happen every time.
Besides, there are times when passion has no time to slow down and demands that you just MUST rush immediately to intercourse. NOW.
Use that type of rushed, passionate romp to your advantage for arousing bonuses afterwards. Bust out your challenging toy so it is ready waiting for you.
Try giving it another whirl after you just finished having sex. Yes, go have more sex after sex. Once you’ve been properly aroused and your muscles are lubed and flexible, you might be pleasantly surprised at what your body can do and how it can welcome what felt strange and unyielding before you were warmed up and tried using it alone. You might just discover the perfect third companion to elevate your climax to a new level.
Consider Your Own Conclusions
No matter what you end up liking or disliking, you will never know what your body is capable of experiencing until you warm up your body’s potential and accept ownership to your own pleasure. Nothing is hotter than knowing what you want, but learning about yourself will give you the sexual confidence to speak up for yourself and communicate your limits.
Gain your own “scientific” sexperience of being physically and mentally aware of when you’re about to fully let go, so only you can speak for your own body. After some sextensive research, I’m sure you’ll come to your own conclusions on just what exactly that means, what that is, and all of that which you are releasing.
Hope you study hard there, in your own study, dear Captain!
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