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Blog > Sexting 101: The Do's & Don'ts of Digital Dirty Talk

Sexting 101: The Do's & Don'ts of Digital Dirty Talk

November 20, 2019
Written by Maria Sophia

Sexting is a sex-positive way to overcome inhibitions, enhance your relationship, and direct your partner with your sexual suggestions. Sexting is best known as the sending of sexually explicit messages, images, and/or videos using a phone, computer, or digital device through text, email, chat, or social media. There are many social media applications created to help get you started; Facebook Messenger, Instagram Chat, Snapchat, Whatsapp, Between, Dust, Kaboom to name a few. It can assist in your becoming increasingly aroused and creates a fantasy before you reach the bedroom. Are you bashful in the boudoir? Sexting gives you more time to construct an erotic response to progress your dirty story.

 

Okay, so sexting may not be for everyone, but to each their own. We advise you and the person(s) use discretion prior to participating in this activity, do research on laws that involve this matter. Without further ado, here is a list we’ve compiled of some Do’s and Don’ts on sexting.

 

#1 First Things First...

Do

  • Talk ahead to make certain that the recipient consents to receiving sexts. Make sure it’s someone you trust.

Don't

  • Send unsolicited, random pictures of your willie with the caption “Wel-cum to the meat show”. There’s nothing worse than being on public transportation and opening a text to find an unwanted, extremely zoomed-in photo of someone’s dick.

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#2 Delete, delete, delete

Do

  • Discuss whether to delete the texts/photos immediately or if they can be saved for appreciating at a later time. This is especially important if you don’t know the person well enough to trust they won’t share it. Erase when you’re done.

Don't

  • Keep or send text/photos if they requested you delete them. That's just indecent.

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#3 Who, what, When, Where?

Do

  • Time those sexts correctly. Send them a quick “Hey, what’s up?” or “NSFW” message. You might want to wait to send that message after your partner is out of a work meeting or around others that you wouldn’t want to see your nudes.

Don't

  • Send overly sexual messages at the wrong time. This could be an instant turn-off, awkward, or just plain creepy.

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#4 Boundaries Still Stand

Do

  • Feel out the other person's interests, but stay within your comfort zone. Be yourself and don’t be afraid to open up about your own fantasies through messaging.

Don't

  • Make yourself feel uncomfortable for the sake of your partner or expect them to act too far out of their comfort zone. If you’re not feeling it, then you’re not feeling it.

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#5 Start Slow and Build the Suspense

Do

  • Take things slow and be detail specific. Tell a story by being creative, descriptive, and visual of what you want to do with them. Compliment your partner’s body, technique, or mention previous enjoyable sexual experiences with said partner. Use romance novels as a reference. It will gradually build suspense.

Don't

  • Race to the figurative finish line. You might risk making your partner feel uncomfortable, especially if it’s a newer relationship.

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#6 Get Creative

Do

  • Use sexual innuendo emojis, memes, and GIFs to enhance your convo. They are simple gesture tools to help initiate this sex-venture.

Don't

  • Only use sexual innuendo emojis, memes, and GIFs or come right out and say, “I wanna f**k.” There’s no mystery and it’s cringe-worthy!

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#7 Send Nudes?

Do

  • Let the person know that you're about to send them a picture, so they don’t open it in front of other people or if they don’t want to receive one. Send nudes or risque pictures using your best discretion.

Don't

  • Include your entire face or any distinct tattoos, piercings, or birthmarks. It’s usually best to not show your face, so crop your head and send it via Snapchat, so you’re aware if somebody screenshots or screen records it. Once the photo is shared, there’s no turning back.

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When all is said and done…sexting can be great for a relationship, whether it’s a new relationship or not, it can turn the heat way up. You and your partner(s) can explore this and allow your imagination to run free, as well as get to know each other on a new level and keep things spicy.

 

 

 

Sources:

Dewey, Caitlin. "A guide to safe sexting: How to send nude photos without ruining your life, career and reputation". Washington Post, 11 Jun 2014, https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2014/07/11/a-guide-to-safe-sexting-how-to-send-nude-photos-without-ruining-your-life-career-and-reputation.

Gray, Jordan. "The Ultimate Sexting Guide: 100 Sexy Texts To Turn Them On Like Crazy". Jordan Gray, 10 Mar 2019, https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/ultimate-sexting-guide.

 

Kramer, Jillian. "Are You Sexting? If So, Here's How to Do It Safely". Glamour, 13 Nov 2014,  https://www.glamour.com/story/are-you-sexting-if-so-heres-how.

 

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Maria Sophia is a newer member to the Lovers Playground team and has an extensive background in writing and communications. Maria is a Chicago native with a passion for travel and exercise, among other hobbies. She has 2 dogs, no tattoos, and no-known food allergies. She uses writing to freely express and encourage  healthier, more fulfilling sex lives in adults.

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