Let's get right to the point... Masturbation is amazing, excellent, fantastic, great! We could go on and on. If you couldn't tell, we're a big fan of it as well. You may even have your favorite go-to toy that gets the job done, lickety-split. On the other hand, homemade sex toys or using other random items to get off can be bad. Your genitals are sensitive and using things found in the produce section can be dangerous, plain and simple.
It might be tempting, but using household items can pose a risk of irritation, infection, or injury. Sex toys are specifically developed with the purpose of using them... well, sexually. Some toys will include instructions on how they are meant to be used and material information about what body-safe materials the product is manufactured from. Others suggest using a condom to stop bacteria on the D.I.Y. item from spreading, but the best solution would be to not use makeshift toys in the first place. If it's going in or around your genital area, think again about using that household item.
Need some clarification? Well, here are some examples of items you should definitely never use during sexual play:
#1 ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSHES OR RAZORS, REGULAR TOOTHBRUSHES, CELL PHONES, OR GAME CONTROLLERS JUST SCREAM GERM CITY.
As you clean your pearly whites, you get the idea one morning to use your toothbrush in... another way. External and penetrative use can irritate or cause microabrasions leading to infection of your tissue. Don't do it.
#2 BROOMS, MOPS, FLASHLIGHTS, HAIRBRUSHES, OR ANYTHING WITH A LONG HANDLE/POLE END THAT COULD BE UNSAFE OR PUNCTURE SOMETHING.
Household objects may have debris, bacteria, or could cause splinters. You wouldn't want to use anything like a wooden broom or hairbrush. There have been a history of wooden sex toys, but these have been made using high-quality, sustainable wood with a protective finishing coat. Also, the g- and p-spots can be found approximately 2.5 to 3 inches so trying to insert an object over 3 feet long may not be the wisest decision. Don't do it.
#3 STAY AWAY FROM PUTTING BANANAS, CUCUMBERS, ZUCCHINIS, PEACHES, WATERMELONS, PIE, ETC. INSIDE OR AROUND PLACES OTHER THAN YOUR MOUTH.
Food should not be inserted or used as a lube. Sweet treats can lead to yeast infections because of the sugars. There's also a higher chance of these items crumbling and falling apart while you're trying to use them. Don't expose your genitals to the cluster of produce pesticides. And no, this doesn't mean go organic. Don't do it.
#4 VASELINE, BABY OIL, CRISCO, MAYO, SOAP, SHAMPOO, TOOTHPASTE, SCENTED-LOTION, ETC. ARE SLIPPERY & FUN UNTIL THEY SLIDE INTO DELICATE PLACES.
These homemade lubes can be difficult to wash off once the deed is done. We all know that friction on dry skin is the worst, but using anything other than personal lubricant created for intercourse can lead to skin irritation or infection. And at all costs, avoid using shampoo unless you want to feel like you're peeing a volcano. Don't do it.
#5 THAT REGULAR CANDLE YOU FOUND IN YOUR BEDROOM.
Massage candles have a low melting point and are safe to use on skin. Regular candles become an oil and once dripped on the skin can result in second-degree burns. Oh, and don't use the wax internally. These candles are not meant to be used as a lubricant either. Do. Not. Do. It.
The list goes on and on. The last thing you'll want is to end up in the hospital with baby carrots stuck up your butt. If your reasoning for not using a marketed-for sex toy is simply that they're too expensive, then let us inform you that a $10 vibrator can be just as good as a $100 vibrator. It depends on the person. In the end, would you rather pay $30 for an average cost sex toy or $500+ in medical expenses for an unfortunate incident that could have been easily avoided? There is such a large variety of sex toys available nowadays, that there truly is something for everyone. Legit sex toys are absolutely worth the money.
Take our advice or not, we can't stop you from doing any of these things. We can only try to get you this information. Just be smart and take precautions if you do plan on using any of the aforementioned items. If you're really determined, at least consult your doctor or a professional. Here's to hoping your next sexual encounter with yourself or someone else will be enhanced with a proper sex toy!